Funkeys Codex

U.B. Funkeys Codex

Courtesy of Rebsingh and Myself

FUNKEYTOWN

Lotus

Lotus are extremely calm & peaceful Funkeys and have an intense connection to the planet – the Great Mother Terrapin. Lotus are friends to all wildlife and have the ability to communicate with many different types of animals. Some say they can even talk to trees.

With such a natural bond with the environment, it seems odd that the Lotus reside in the heart of Funkeys Town. Could this be the reason for the broken heart? Then again, maybe it is their strong bond with the environment that holds all of the Funkeys Town together.
Either way, the Lotus stay cool in all situations, even Master Lox and his evil henchmen don’t get the Lotus too worried. Their expressions never change.


Scratch

The Scratch discovered early on that they had the power of music. In the time of troubles, during the Funkey wars of the 3rd Funkazoic Era, they used this power to disable their enemies.

Masters of music, whether Techno, Hip Hop, or Rock, when the Scratch start to spin tunes, all the other Funkeys are compelled to dance. With opposing armies in a hypnotic dance trance, the Scratch were able to win many battles.

These days they use this power only for good. Known as party starters, the Scratch are always looking for things to take it to the next level. But if trouble ever returns, the Scratch could make a valuable ally… or a powerful enemy.

Waggs

The Waggs are the most faithful friend that any Funkey could have. With their tails constantly wagging, they seem as if they have no care in the world, but in truth, they are fiercely loyal to their companions, and will always defend a Funkey in danger.

Despite their funny chin whiskers, shaggy fur and bouncy gate, The Waggs are born leaders. They often rise to prestigious posts in Funkey corporations. The have almost endless energy going from one issue to the next until they solve every problem they encounter. To keep up this energy, the Waggs often spend much time in the gym, and while they are known for their passion for all sports, they especially love jumping thru hoops. It's not uncommon to see a Waggs jumping thru many hoops at a time.

Because of their natural leadership abilities and endless enthusiasm, the Waggs have set up the premier pet training school in Funkeystown, the University for the Soft and Cuddly or USC. Graduating pets from USC hope to earn a coveted MBA (Master Barking Ability) degree. The Waggs instructors teach that anything that is worth saying once is worth saying 3 times! You can always tell a graduate from USC, because they tend to speak in threes. Arf, Arf, Arf!

The Waggs students from USC have a friendly, if sometimes competitive rivalry with the students of Our Lucky Lady University. While the Lucky tend to focus on academics, the Waggs students tend to focus all their attention on creating sports programs. The result is a school that tends to dominate Funkeys sports and a USC curriculum that focuses mostly on simple spelling exercises.

Drift

The Drift feel the need...the need for speed! The Drift do everything fast. They walk fast, drive fast, and even talk fast. The Drift talk in their special Drift language, which consists of motor and screeching tire sounds, and they talk in this language as rapidly as they possibly can! They talk so fast that the term "motor mouth" was coined to describe anyone who is talking too quickly to understand what it is they are saying! Also, when someone is having trouble being understood they say, "do you catch my Drift?"
The Drift have a gifted talent for anything mechanical, and are constantly tinkering things in order to make them faster. The Drift are always designing and building faster and faster vehicles, and they will spend days making slight yet precise adjustments to their creations in order to get even the littlest amount of additional speed.

This mechanical talent and love of fast things makes the Drift the best friends of the Vroom. The Drift are always making modifications to Vroom stunt vehicles in order to make them faster and able to jump larger and more dangerous stunts. The Vroom, in turn, test all the new crazy fast vehicle designs that the Drift can think of.....sometimes with spectacular results!

Dot

It is said that each dot has the ability to grant a Funkey a single wish. The gift of giving is so deeply imbedded in the Dot, it is the single source of their happiness. But a Dot can use this power to grant a Funkeys wildest wish only once in their entire lifetime. As soon as the Dot has granted this wish, they are filled with such joy, they fly away with the wind, never to be seen again.

This puts the Dot into a strange, somewhat ironic position in life. The closer they become to another Funkey, the better friends they are, the more they want to grant them a wish. But as soon as the do, their friendship ends and they fly away. To a non-Dot, this seems quite sad.

Because their gift is always in demand, the Dot are very shy in public, preferring not to call any attention to themselves. Dots tend to be quiet and reserved. But don't mistake quiet for sad; the Dot have an almost Zen like happiness that few other beings ever achieve. True embodiments of the phrase "it is better to give than to receive."

No matter how quiet they are in public though, when they play their favorite game, Dot-Shot, an entire other side of the Dot comes out. The Dots reserved manner gives away to a fierce sense of competition, and their typically silent gesturing is replaced by loud, raucous behavior. Proving once and for all that is possible for some Funkeys to change their spots

It's really quite amazing to find a dot, and if you do, you should consider yourself quite Lucky!


LAPUTA STATION

Fallout

The Fallout are the mad scientists of Terrapinia. Scientists, in that they are constantly seen conducting strange experiments throughout Funkeys Town. Mad, oh yes, because Funkeys are always asking them what they are doing and interrupting their “important” work and, more notably, because their experiments rarely work.

The Boggle often follow them around eating …errr… cleaning up their messes to keep their many failed experiments from polluting the town.
It is rumored that they are experimenting with the essence of fun, but what that actually means is a mystery. It is commonly believe, and discussed, debated and deliberated, that one day the Fallout will either discover this “essence” or release something quite the opposite – a destructive substance that not even the Boggle can digest.

Boggle

The Boggle are eating machines. Their highly advanced digestive systems can process anything from the most poisonous spiders to raw iron.

The Boggle bodies break down any material they eat. They sweat out a pure, sweet substance similar to honey that is the staple of all Funkey diets. Nothing beats a peanut butter and Boggle sweat sandwich with a warm glass of purple milk.

The Boggle are an essential part of the Funkey society as the recyclers of all waste, with zero harm to the Funkey environment.

Don’t be scared by their hideous appearance, the Boggle wouldn’t hurt a fly… unless it gets too close to their mouth – then they might take a nibble.
Xener

Xener means traveler in Funkey. In the late 40th century, Funkeys were obsessed with space travel. They spent millions of coins on missions that accomplished very little. The last flight mission crashed and remains intact to remind them of this frivolous program but the Xener still believe that space travel is the final frontier.

It was the Xener experience with travel that helped the Guild of Master Technicians build the first portals. Their intention was to boldly go where no Funkey had gone before – the furthest reaches of space. But they found the portals ill equipped to reach that far. An unexpected benefit was using these portals for travel throughout Terrapinia.
Now the Xener spend most of their time playing space video games, honing their skills for one day, they will return to space.


Vroom

The Vroom have an instinctive love for anything fast and dangerous. Their natural mechanical skills and enthusiasm for showing off have given them the reputation of being the most daring of all of the Funkeys. The Vroom only reinforce this reputation by constantly performing what appear to be ever increasingly dangerous feats, when in fact these stunts are carefully choreographed and practiced with safety in mind.

Most Vroom perform their stunts purely for the love of the stunt itself, and often do so before a cheering audience of their fellow Funkeys. They constructed a giant arena, called the Room De Vroom, on Laputta Station for their performances.

The Deuce work hard at being "deuce", but the Vroom are just naturally cool.

MAGMA GORGE

Bones

The Bones are what they are. They don’t hide their feelings or thoughts from anyone. But it’s easy to get under their skin making them often grumpy and disgruntled.

The phrase “You Old Bucket of Bones” has come to mean someone who is in a bad mood and if you “Have a Bone to Pick” you are upset about something. But make no bones about it, they still have fun.

Most doctors in Terrapinia are Bones and they are accomplished at playing piano. Their favorite past time is fishing, although their catch is often just skin and bones.


Deuce

Fond of all things hip and trendy, the Deuce set the standards for cutting edge culture. In fact, the phrase “What the Deuce” means what’s hot and “That’s Deuce” means that’s cool.

The Deuce love music but not that snooty, high culture opera that the Glub sing. The Deuce like Rockabilly and anything that’s fast and you can dance to.

The Deuce are notorious pranksters. The most famous prank was when they tricked the Glub into wearing elaborate costumes with big platform shoes, rhinestone sunglasses and jeweled hats for their performance before Parliament and the Queen. She was not amused.

Despite getting on the nerves of many Funkeys at one point or another, everyone wants to be Deuce.


Wasabi

Naturally stealthy and skilled in the art of Kung-Fu, the Wasabi are extremely secretive and rarely speak. Always appearing silent and composed, their aloofness is often misunderstood and sometimes feared by their fellow Funkeys.

The Wasabi do nothing to dispel this image, preferring to keep to themselves. They are in perfect harmony of mind and body. Honesty, self discipline and respectful behavior are their core values. They are often deep in meditation, studying ancient scrolls, painting and sculpting or engaged in rigorous exercises to hone their fighting skills.
Wasabi physical feats are those of legend including stories of walking up walls, on water and extended levitation. No one has ever challenged a Wasabi and lived to tell the tale.


Stitch

Funkey folklore reports it like this – a long time ago the Stitch were trusted with the great secret of the great King Funkankhamun of the Golden Age. It was a secret so great that it had the potential of bringing down the king, his Golden Age and maybe all of Terrapinia.

As protectors of this great secret, the Stitch kept away from most other Funkeys, spending their time lurking in graveyards, peacefully cultivating and gathering mushrooms. They were so successful in keeping this secret, that all Funkeys started entrusting their secrets to the Stitch. They would follow other Funkeys around, learn their secrets and then store them for safe keeping.

After years of this behavior, the Stitch evolved to having lips sewed shut, and an eye for danger and no heart so that they can never be tempted to tell their secrets. If what they knew got out...

KELPY BASIN

Glub

The Glub are extremely agile and elegant when submerged but on land are like… well, a fish out of water.

The Glub speak in a strange bubbling, slurping way that most Funkeys find difficult to understand. But oddly enough, the Glub have the most beautiful singing voices. All their speech difficulties go away when they sing. They perform in the Great Funkey Hall, always sing the Funkey anthem, “We Want the Funk”, before sporting events and, of course, at Parliament.

Despite their awkwardness on land, the Glub waddle around with their noses in the air and act like big superstars. They are the royalty of all Funkey celebrities and they act like it.


Twinx

Twinx means “star” in the native Funkey language, and the Twinx embody this word. They have achieved celebrity status in Terrapinia.

Like the Amazons on Earth, the Twinx are all female. But don’t let their beauty fool you, the Twinx are a strong & proud race. Legend has it that the Twinx captured all the power of the moon and the stars in their big beautiful eyes.

The Twinx shimmer with the energy of the entire Funkey Galaxy. You can see it in their captivating and hypnotic eyes. But the energy that went in can also come out. The Twinx could change the world in the blink of an eye.


Sprout

The Sprout have perfectly manicured lawns, elaborate gardens and showpiece homes. They are often featured in Funkey Home and Garden and Architecturally Funkey Digest, and a Sprout has won the coveted FELIX award (given to the neatest Funkey) for as long as anyone can remember.

Most jobs around town associated with keeping things beautiful are held by Sprout. They work in concert with the Boggle to keep trash off the street although they find the Boggle to be “gross creatures.” They have a natural ability to grow any type of vegetation. If they had thumbs, they would most certainly be green!


Tiki

The Tiki are believed to be the first Funkeys to inhabit Terrapinia. All other Funkeys evolved from the Tiki. The first Tiki crawled out of the primordial soup and walked on land over a million years ago.

Hunters and gatherers, they quickly became the dominant species. They created a thriving society, the ruins of which can still be seen in the Mesofunkey Plains. They developed the first language, writings and were prolific artists.

Tiki artifacts are highly prized by collectors. While once fierce warriors, the Tikis now live an almost Zen-like existence and despite their ferocious look, modern Tiki are vegans.

FUNKIKI ISLAND

Nibble

The original inhabitants of Funkiki Island, Nibble have a deep love and respect for the ocean. The Nibble have a natural affinity towards the ocean, preferring to spend more time at sea then on land. In fact, they spend so much time in the water, they have permanent swimmers ear. Their scary, chomping appearance is less about eating and more about clearing their ears. They are always yawning and opening and closing their big mouths. The yawning sounds like growling and the movement looks like biting so most visitors are first quite scared of the Nibble. But once you get to know them, you'll dive right in.

Some believe the Nibble to be ancient ancestors of the Glub who eons ago crossed the great Blue Divide on primitive boats guided only by the stars. But while the Glub are known for the wonderful singing voices, the Nibble's water clogged ears make them tone deaf. With the invention of the portals, and the subsequent flood of Funkey tourists to Funkiki Island, the Nibble established the now famous Chum Divers beach shop. Chum Divers offers snorkeling, guided fishing tours, and their special Pearl Diving expeditions. Or just stop in for a quick bite.


Flurry

Originally from the Shivery Ice Flow region, the Flurry are very cool under pressure making them the shrewdest negotiators in Terrapinia. It is said, they literally have ice water flowing thru their veins. Legendary for their ability to sell anything to anyone, it is rumored that the Flurry even sold Butter to the Boggle.

You would think that, coming from frozen tundra, the Flurry would seek a warm sunny patch of sand to spend their vacation, but after their first visit to Funkiki Island, the Flurry had entirely different plans. They bought the highest piece of land from the local natives, for two scarves and a worn out mitten, and set about creating Powder Peak, Terrapinia's premier ski resort. A Flurry spokesperson told the Funkiki vacation board that "they spared no expense, importing only the choicest snow, even handpicking each individual snowflake from the tallest mountain peaks throughout Terrapinia." Weather or not that is true we'll never know but the Flurry are cool enough to keep snow on a tropical island year round.


Webley

Don't let their hairy scary appearance lead you astray, the Webley are a highly intelligent and creative tribe of legendary inventors and explorers. In fact, the Webley have patents and trade marks on more inventions and have discovered more lands than anyone else in Terrapinia. Most famous of them is the World Wide Web, invented by one particularly hairy scary Webley called Ali Gory. Ali was known for his wildly wicked and way out stories and tales. Hi World Wide Web, spun entirely by his mind, is the cornerstone of all Funkeys communication. Many of today's technologies spun out from Ali's Web creation including Web phones, Web travel, Web mail and Web voting (a particular favorite of Ali's). But soon after the creation of Web advertising, the Webley started to become disillusioned with the high tech, fast paced, hustle and bustle of FunkeysTown. They sent their great explorer, Captain Brock Loosetoe, to find a remote island where the Webley could relocate, away from all technology. When he discovered Funkiki Island and its native inhabitants, he knew it was the place.

On Funkiki Island, the Webley have become outdoorsy. Using their webs as ropes, sails, and various other tools, the Webley now live a subsistent existence in an outpost deep in the jungles of Funkiki Island. They only use natural fibers, spun by themselves, catch all their own food and have become the vocal caretakers of the planet. In order to raise funds for their cause, they conduct jungle tours, catering to only the most courageous Funkey travelers.


Sol

Known for their optimistic outlooks and relaxed attitudes, the Sol bring a ray of sunshine into the lives of everyone they meet. When the Sol adventurer Pol-i-an-na-na Sol, called P-Sol by his friends, first reached Funkiki Island, he was sure that everyone would love to come to bask on the beautiful beaches and drink in the endless sunshine. Financed by the Flurry, P-Sol opened the Heck-a-Wee Resort and Spa. P-Sol also discovered on the island a turtle-like animal, called the Huh by locals, with amazing relaxation powers.

When you arrive at the resort, the Sol greet you with their sunny personality and a necklace made of Huh shells. The Huh necklace erases all your worries and concerns. P-Sol had a philosophy that continues today at the resort, that each guest should be treated as a member of the Heck-a-Wee family. The family atmosphere combined with plenty of sunshine, some tasty waves and the mind clearing power of the Huh, causes visitors are so relaxed the lay around the beach saying "Huh, we're the Heck-A-Wee" all day long. At the end of your stay, the Huh necklace is removed. Guests say they experience an intense but painless rush of memories returning to them called "Turtle Recall."



ROYALTON RACING COMPLEX

Speed Racer

As a member of the Racer family, Speed has been raised to drive from a very young age. It's been said that Speed was tooling timing pins while still in his Funkey diapers!

Speed Racer is truly a gifted driver, who grew up watching his legendary older brother, Rex Racer, set records in all of the major racing events throughout Terrapinia. Speed was taught by his brother to "listen to what the car wants" rather then simply drive.

Choosing to stay un-sponsored and never driving without wearing his lucky red socks Speed has vowed to carry on his brother's mission, to challenge the corruption rampant throughout the Funkeys Racing League, and restore purity to the sport!

Although a relatively new professional driver in the FRL, Speed is carrying on his family legacy and quickly becoming the crowd favorite.

As the Mach 6 engine roars around the track an equally deafening roar of "Go, Speed Go!!" can be heard from his cheering Funkey fans!


Snake Oiler

Racing for the Hydrocell team, Snake Oiler is one of the leagues most dubious characters. Known to be unstable (and some might even say "Crazy"), this is definitely one slippery character that you don't want to messsssss with!

Although the officials of the Funkeys Racing League have yet to be able to prove any foul-play, Snake has earned the reputation of being one of the leagues most notorious cheaters. Cold blooded like his namesake, Snake coils and strikes his opponents without hesitation or remorse.

Like all villains, despite all his foul venom, Snake is truly a cowardly driver. When confronted with an opponent with real racing skills such as Speed Racer or the mysterious Racer X, rather than rise to the challenge, he'll find a way to cheat his way through it. Maybe this is why he has never once even qualified for the Funkey Grand Prix!


Jack "Cannonball" Taylor

Two time Funkey Grand Prix champion and captain of the Royalton Racing team, Cannonball is one of the Funkeys Racing Leagues most famous drivers.

Cannonball is constantly being followed by packs of devoted Funkey fans, and truly enjoys the celebrity status he has earned through racing. Catch him on a good day and he might just sign an autograph for a fan or two, but don"t be fooled by his polished smile! He may give you an autograph, but when on the race track, winning is all that matters!...well, that and fame!

When not racing, Cannonball spends most of his time lounging in the swanky "Driver"s Club" of the Royalton Industries building. It"s not uncommon to find Cannonball polishing his pair of Grand Prix champion diamond rings or showing off his collection of racing trophies.


Racer X

Funkeys Racing League's most mysterious driver, little is known about the masked Funkey known as Racer X. Who is the Funkey behind the mask? Where did he come from? Where is he heading (other then across the finish line)?

Although his past is shrouded in secrecy, his skill as a racer is there for all to see. With velocity unmatched by all but the greatest racers in the league, it is possible that you could blink and miss him as he races by. However, as anyone who has the chance to watch a race will attest there is no missing the sonic boom of his engines as he screams down the track.

Both feared and revered Racer X has earned the nickname "Harbinger of Boom". It is said that if Racer X is in a race, the crowd is guaranteed to see some truly spectacular crashes! Racer X is Funkeys Racing League's biggest wild card!


Chim Chim

This candy loving primate is well known around all of the racing tracks of the Funkeys Racing League and is considered Terrapinia's most "Funkey Monkey". Officially a member of the Racer Motors team, Chim-Chim can usually be found getting into trouble throughout the Royalton Racing Complex.

The constant companion of Speed Racer's younger brother Spritle, Chim-Chim is truly a member of the Racer family. If you mess with the Racers, you're sure to get a face full of Monkey Cookies as Chim-Chim pops up from one of his favorite hiding spaces to save the day...and the race!


Trixie

The first lady of 'Fast', Trixie is not just Speed Racer's girlfriend; she may just be racing's biggest fan! Trixie isn't a professional racer but, growing up with the Racer family, racing is in her blood! Never backing down in the face of danger, Trixie is a confident Funkey who is unafraid to take on the world.

As Speed Racer's main squeeze, Trixie is always ready to aid Speed in times of crises! Whether performing search-and-rescue missions or scouting out Speed Racer's opponents on the track, Trixie always arrives in the nick of time in her custom helicopter!


Taejo

The son of Tetsua Togokahn (owner of Togokahn Motors), Taejo races not only for his team but also for the glory of his family! Although a member of the Togokahn clan, Taejo has earned his position as the captain of the Togokahn Motors racing team through his incredible racing skills and fearless attitude.

As a profitable enterprise, Togokahn Motors is always in danger of a corporate takeover from greedy companies like Royalton Industries. Taejo has vowed to do everything in his power to keep his father's company in the family and drives each race as if the company is at stake!

This single minded dedication to his family sometimes blurs the lines between good and bad when it comes to Taejo's intentions. You never know if he is your friend or has alternative motives.

NIGHTMARE RIFT

Snipe

If you ask a Snipe, they will gladly tell you that the Snipe are the best trained, best equipped, toughest, fastest, meanest and most humble members of the Funkeys Armed Recon Stealth Elites. Of course that's because only Snipe are allowed to join the F.A.R.C.E.!

While it is typically the Webley explorers that will discover new lands on Terrapinia (and beyond), it is always an elite group of Snipe that will be next sent to the newly discovered territory. Being uniquely suited to sneak around without being detected, It's the job of F.A.R.C.E. to perform stealth reconnaissance on any new territory, scout out and deal with any potential danger, and make sure that everything is safe for future Funkeys travelers.

The Snipe pride themselves on their extensive training regiments and their military discipline. The distinguished F.A.R.C.E. leader, General Key-oki expects his troops to always be ready for new and dangerous missions. General Key-oki, keeps the Snipe commandos in constant training exercises so that they will be prepared to deploy at a moment's notice! Because of this constant training, these groups of Snipe become like brothers.

Spending so much time crawling thru high grass and running training missions deep into the bush, has led the Snipe to be given the nickname "The Bush Brothers." Most enlightened Funkeys equate the words bush with F.A.R.C.E. However, most Funkeys also say, "May the F.A.R.C.E. be with you...because you certainly don't want them against you!"


Ptep

In the Golden Age, the Ptep were the personal guards to the great King Funkankhamun. While the Stitch were responsible for keeping the secrets of the great King, the Ptep were entrusted with the King's safety!

King Funkankhamun ruled the land with his inner council: The devoted Ptep, the trusted Stitch and his personal adviser, Kamenwati the magician. While both the Ptep and the Stitch were true loyal subjects to the King, Kamenwati desired to usurp the King and rule the Funkeys himself. Kamenwati believed that if he could discover the nature of the secret that Funkankhamun had entrusted to the Stitch, that he could bring down the king and rule the land!

After years of being unable to discover this secret from the trustworthy Stitch, Kamenwati decided instead to prepare a curse! A curse that, when cast, would transport the king to the furthest land in Terrapinia so that Kamenwati could finally claim the throne.

The following day, his plan was hatched. While Funkankhamun was eating breakfast, the devious Kamenwati leaned over and whispered the curse into the King's ear. With a puff of smoke the King vanished! The Ptep, realizing that it was the evil Kamenwati that had banished the King, quickly seized the traitor.

The Ptep decided that if it was the throne that Kamenwati desired, then it was the throne that Kamenwati would get. The Ptep proceeded to seal the magician in a tomb beneath the Kings throne, to forever to be trapped!

Always loyal to the King, the Ptep still guard his throne today, making sure that the evil Kamenwati never escapes, and awaiting the day that the King will return and bring another Golden Age to the Funkeys!


Vlurp

Often feared for their fiendish fangs and ferocious features, the Vlurp are some of the most misunderstood Funkeys in Terrapinia. Rather then being brooding vicious fiends, the Vlurp are in fact strict vegetarians who prefer nothing more then good salad and a glass of tomato juice! This misconception, which causes the irrational fear of the Vlurp in most other Funkeys, drives the Vlurp absolutely batty!

The only Funkeys that the Vlurp have managed to convince of their true gentle nature are the Sprout. Being strict vegetarians, the Vlurp share the Sprout's love of gardening, and have formed a strong, if unlikely friendship.

However, while the Sprout are the most accomplished gardeners of all Funkeys, the Vlurp are hands down the worst! The Vlurp prefer to live in harsh cold environments, and have an irrational fear of the sun, which of course are not good conditions for growing vegetables!


Sprocket

As an ambitious primary student at the Funkeystown School for Gifted Funkeys, the young Dr. Tinker created the first Sprocket as an entry into his school science contest.

Designed to help the Boggle with garbage disposal duties, Dr. Tinker bragged to the contest judges that, "His design would turn waste materials into a much more delicious food then that "bland" Boggle Butter!" However, when turned on, rather then producing something delicious, Sprocket only wanted to dance. While their herky-jerky groove was impressive in its own right, Dr. Tinker had no time for a Sprocket when they danced.

While Dr. Tinker may not have liked it, the kids in Funkeys town loved to dance like Sprocket! Sprocket's dance, the Robot, as it became known, was all the craze. Sprocket's popularity grew, but like all fads, one day the kids no longer wanted to do the dance. Since he was kind of a one dance Funkey, he wandered off and was not heard of again.

Now, the Sprocket, dancing robots, are a reoccurring nightmare for most Funkeys kids, as they are reminded of just how silly they really looked!



DAYDREAM OASIS

Tank

Another of Dr. Tinker's failed experiments was his quest to fix the eyesight of all Funkeys. He developed an innovative but doomed procedure to correct bad vision that he called Oasic. By playing the music of a popular Funkey band really loud right into the eyes, the lens that covers all Funkey eyes, called the Wonder Wall, was supposed to become smooth and flawless. Dr. Tinker always claimed complete success. The problem was the patients no longer produced tears. The Tank, as they became know, had to wear masks that were always filled with salt water so their eyes wouldn't dry out.

The Tank turned this affliction into a strength, and became the greatest sea explorers in the known world. The Tank are as obsessed with undersea discovery

Prior to the creation of the Dream States, the Tank had fully explored every drop in every ocean throughout Terrapinia. From the shimmering reefs of Kelpy Basin to the bottomless trenches of the Frigid Murk, there were no more mysteries of the marine to be discovered.

When the portals to Daydream Oasis were opened, and the Fractal Sea was discovered, the Tank couldn't get there quick enough. With a new ocean to explore, and amazing undersea discoveries to be made, the Tank quickly built a dock on the shores. Now they live a life of ease, every one of them has all they need, sky of blues, and seas of green, they all live in their Yellow Funkmarine!


Dyer

Legend tells of a young boy, a shepherd named Dyer who was a notorious prankster, and of a gullible wolf who loved to play cards. The boy would call the wolf over and bet that he could guess what card the wolf would draw from the deck of cards. They would cut the deck, draw the card and the boy always guessed right. One day, the wolf checked the cards and found they were all the same. The boy barely escaped with his life.

The boy learned his lesson and vowed never to take advantage of another being again; to live a life of peace and harmony with all living creatures. They even befriended the Cootie, a small bug that lives on the skin of Funkeys. The Dyer realized that use of soap was killing the poor Cooties so they stopped washing and using soap.

The Dyer are fond of sleeping, or as they call it "extended deep thought sessions". The Dyer like to participate in these "deep thought sessions" in large groups, and it is not uncommon to find large groups of Dyers just lying around in parks, on the beach, or on the campuses of Our Lucky Lady and USC. Rather than speak, The Dyer write down their thoughts on small plastic discs and throw them back and forth to each other. They've even claim to have developed a mass communication method where many Dyers run around chucking the message disk back and forth. They say it is the ultimate but it is yet to catch on.

Lucky

There's an old Funkey saying "I'd rather be Lucky than good." And nobody is more lucky than the Lucky, that is why, of course, they are called the Lucky.

Many, many years ago, The Lucky discovered, quite by accident, the secret to controlling all the rainbows in Terrapinia. The first thing they did with this skill was use it to find the pot of coins that everyone knows is at the end of rainbows. Since they have so many coins, they've never again had to work a day in their life! Because of this, the Lucky are always friendly and have a permanently sunny disposition, even when it's raining!

While the Snipe will always aggressively assert that they are the roughest, and the Wasabi may be legendary for their stealthy Funk-Fu powers, everybody really know that the Lucky are the toughest of all Funkeys! Being the toughest Funkeys around, the Lucky really don't feel any need to prove their toughness to anyone!

Not feeling a need to brag about their toughness, the Lucky instead pride themselves on the education level, frequently telling others how book smart they are. They spend considerable time keeping their minds healthy by playing challenging puzzles and word games. The Lucky have even established a very prestigious college called Our Lucky Lady University as a rival school to the Waggs' University of Soft and Cuddly. Not only is it one of the finest academic schools in Terrapinia, it also consistently has one of the best Bowball teams throughout the land. LLU's current head mistress Lucky D is not only one of the smartest Funkeys in the land, she is also one of the prettiest . . . and of course, the luckiest.


Berger

While the Boggle may be famous for their Boggle Butter, the Berger are famous for their cheese! The Berger are master cheese-smiths, and have perfected thousands of recipes for creating some quite interesting cheese combinations.

True Funkey food connoisseurs love to attend the Berger's famous cheese tasting parties where they can debate the merits of each variety of cheese. Does the Triple-Dipple Funkberry Gouda taste better with a glass of fresh bumblejuice, or is the not so subtle taste explosion of a Dirty Berger Cheddar Platter more appropriate? It's all just a matter of taste!

The Berger have a real sense of their history. Their ancient King is preserved in a kind of plastic coating and on the display in the great Berger hall. He is a real tourist draw, attracting many visitors each day. Some find him majestic, others a bit creepy as he stares out at you with plastic eyes.

Not only do the Berger create the most delicious varieties of cheese throughout Terrapinia, they are also the cheesiest when it comes to conversation! The Berger are notorious braggarts, particularly about their cheeses, and always seem to have an obvious and artless way of making a point. They have a very effected way of speaking that makes even their most casual statements sound like conceit. "I'm soooooo happy to see you" or "please moooooove your car" come off quite arrogant. Despite this, deep down the Berger are truly good natured Funkeys!

CHAT

Rom

Today the ROM are the masters of the #1 communication system in Terrapinia - the World Wide Web, or Funkeynet. However, they were not always so powerful.

Legend has it that the founder of the ROM clan, a mysterious traveler known only as The Ryder, was a struggling sales person living in Old Funkeystown. Despite his cheep suit and bad hair cut, he was somehow able to win the job of networking the entire Funkeys Tram system, know as METRO. He turned that one job into a flourishing business, so that today, the ROM manage all of the computer software and network communication throughout Terrapinia!

Recently, the famous ROM nerd Billiam Gaytes believed that he had created an upgrade that would allow for all ROM to more efficiently use the Funkeynet. He said this upgrade would allow the ROM to see the Funkeynet more clearly, or as he put it, "like looking through a window at a beautiful vista!" At least that was the intention…

Unfortunately, this upgrade didn't work as it was intended. While the upgrade helps the ROM remember excruciating details about Funkeys they've met only once, they often forget other, more important details in life. The upgrade has caused the ROM networks to flow erratically, and they often either leak data, both soft and hard data. Or their networking lines become so clogged with data they have to be cleaned out – quite a long and painful process.

The ROM speak in a language that is entirely incomprehensible to other Funkeys. While it sounds quite normal at first, they tend to rearrange letters in a kind of code that only ROMs understand. No one is really sure why they do this but the language has become known as UMOC. The ROM and their followers find this language code very funny, but it's quite indecipherable to your average Funkey. I guess you have to be a ROM to get their humor?


Gabby

The most talkative of all the Funkeys, the Gabby are all about spreading Gossip! Gabby always seem to be in a good mood with their bubbly attitude and cheery disposition, and while they do spread rumors, these rumors are always trivial and never harmful. The Gabby like to pass along gossip, but they would never intentionally hurt another Funkeys feelings. Spreading rumors is the now the second most popular communication method in the land.

This is a change from the Gabby of old. The original Gabby were vicious in their rumors and stories. It is often said they were responsible for the Wars during the Dark Times. Three particularly evil Gabby were the ring leaders and led the tribe down this evil path. But the young Gabby and many of the other Funkeys rose up and banished the three evils - one to the East, one to the West and one to far North. Their names have been erased from all Gabby books and stories.

Modern Gabby have a very trusting nature, a kind of an air-head personality, and tend to be rather gullible. Knowing that the Gabby will believe almost anything that you tell them, and then most certainly pass that information on to everyone they see, some of the other Funkeys like to play practical jokes with unsuspecting Gabby.

The Deuce are the most notorious for playing practical jokes. The most infamous joke was when a particularly mischievous Deuce, told a Gabby that Xener explorers never actually landed on Laputta Station! The Deuce convinced the Gabby that, even though the landing was widely televised on all U.F.U.N.K. channels, the whole landing was actually filmed in a basement using special effects. Of course this rumor spread quickly throughout Terrapinia! Despite Mayor Sayso's repeated denial of this silly rumor, to this day there are Funkeys who believe that the landing was all some type of government conspiracy!

This love of discovering secrets and spreading rumors have led many Gabby to become television reporters or advice columnists. The most famous of the Gabby writes a weekly advice column in the Funkeystown Post called Dear Gabby, where she gives advice to troubled or confused Funkeys. You've come a long way Gabby.


Holler

The only thing that the Holler love more then listening to music is expressing their opinions about music...and expressing them loudly.

There are no Funkeys that know more about both mainstream and obscure Funkey musicians the Holler. Their encyclopedic knowledge of these artists and their works are often the subject of heated arguments between Holler with opposing views on music. The impact of the legendary Funkey composer, Foxgang Funkzart's string arrangements versus the social importance of the scratching technique of M.C. Funkey Floyd on popular culture would not be an uncommon subject for debate.

While their expertise on all musical matters is never in question, it's the Holler's technique for winning their arguments that most Funkeys find annoying. The Holler tend to believe that if someone they are debating is not agreeing with their point of view, then simply saying their opinion louder will somehow win the argument. This leads to most discussions with a Holler escalating into nothing more then an epic yelling match!

This "talent" has led them to be masters of the 4th kind of communication in Terrapinia - loud yelling. The Holler can achieve such high volumes with their yelling that they can communicate with each other over great distances. Funkeys go to Holler stations, give the resident Holler a note, and he screams it to other Holler stations in the network. Eventually your message gets to its destination. Unfortunately, sometimes the message you started with is not the same when it reaches its destination. This phenomenon is known as Holler It Communication Upload Purity Syndrome...or HICUPS. HICUPS in the system are an accepted curiosity of this communication system. Young Funkeys have even turned it into a game.


Rewind

The Rewind are as known for their colorful markings, outgoing personalities and their love, some say even obsession, with a good tale. They have been known to fly to the furthest regions of Terrapinia on a moments notice if they believe an opportunity to learn a good story, even just a piece of one.

While they are masters at seeking out a good tale, they are simply awful at re-telling them. They tend to get the details of a story mixed up, and often tell the end of a story before the beginning. Funkeys listening to their stories often have to tell them to stop and go back to the beginning...or rewind! They've even been known to stop one story and pop in another at a moments notice.

While the Rewind have the Rewind Roost on Funkiki Island, they also have established a network of temporary houses high in trees throughout Terrapinia. They rent these temporary houses to young Funkey travelers unable to pay the high prices of Funkey hotels, or other travelers who just admire the free spirit of the Rewind.

This network of housing is another key to the Rewind being masters at communication allowing the Rewind to carry Funkeys' notes and mail thru these tree houses as they travel the world. Rumor has it that the Rewind have amassed considerable wealth thru this unconventional business, and store their funds in banks somewhere off the coast of Funkiki Island.

Their inventive spirit and entrepreneurial style has led their air mail network to become the 2nd most popular communication method in the world. Rumors, spread by the Gabby profess that the Rewind are in talks with the ROM to put the Funkey computer networks into all of the Rewind's Tree Top lodges. We have no doubt that the Rewind are sure to find a way to profit from this business venture.

While flighty and chatty, the Rewind are best known as fierce and loyal friends and for their dependability. They've never lost a note, never turned away a foreign traveler, and once you befriend a Rewind they are a friend for life.


HIDDEN REALM

Bomble

Long before the creation of the portals, the distant peaks and valleys of the great Wowsnatch mountain range were once uncharted and dangerous lands where only the bravest explorers dared go. One such explorer, the great Bagley Webley returned from a year long expedition to the Wowsnatch range, telling incredible tales of a wild tribe of Funkeys he had discovered while exploring its highest peaks.

While lost in a terribly fierce blizzard, Bagley saw a savage looking hairy Funkey taking a casual nap in a frozen bed of snow. Being awoken from a leisurely afternoon nap, this strange new Funkey was angry to say the least, and immediately let out a fearsome roar. Terrified, Bagley reached into his web pouch, and gabbed the only thing he could find. He held it out, and said "Uhh.I caught you a delicious Bass."

Bagley spent the next year living with the Yeti, as he called them. Living on the peak of a mountain, the Bomble's diet consisted of nothing more then snow-cones and ice-cubes, and and a slim stick of spicy meat the Yeti called chim! The Bomble took Bagley in as one of their own, taught him their language, and even let him participate in their nightly laughing ritual they called the Big Hoot; basically, sitting around the fire, passing gas and talking sports. Bagley loved that the most.

Of course, upon Bagley's return, with no evidence that these "Bomble" actually existed, many a Funkey did not believe his wild tales of savage mountain dwelling Funkeys. For years, other explorers tried in vain to prove the existence of the Bomble, but it was not until Kings Sidd's zeppelin appeared above Funkeystown, that the existence of the Bomble was finally proven.

With a promise of unlimited fish dinners, Sidd had convinced the Bomble to leave the frigid homes and travel to the Hidden Realm. Using their brute strength, and a fighting style they call Icebreaking, the Yeti have become fearsome competitors, fighting for the entertainment of King's Sidd in his Battledome


Yang

The Yang believe that they are the most balanced of all Funkeys, and practice the ancient discipline of Funk Shui in order to maintain this balance. Funk Shui teaches that equilibrium is achieved when divergent polarities cancel each other out. For every act of kindness they perform, they must do something cruel. For every joke they tell to make Funkeys laugh, they must tell a tragic tale to make Funkeys cry. They do exhaustive research on a topic, than act on a whim. After a very spicy dinner is eaten, a very sweet desert must be consumed as well! Their favorite song of all time is 'You gotta be Cruel to be Kind!!'

The desire for inner balance has also led to the organization of balance among the Yang as a tribe under a system the Yang call Communalism. The collective ownership of property and the organization of labor for the common advantage of all are the key ideas of Communalism. This community balance makes it so that no individual Yang is wealthier, more famous, or more powerful then any of their fellow Yang comrades. Every Yang is equal.

However, equal does not mean balanced. If the Yang only followed this system of communalism, this could possibly lead to an entirely peaceful tribe, which to the Yang would be out of balance according to the practice of Funk Shui. If there is peace, their must be conflict!

The Yang have chosen to fight in King Sidd's Battledome in order to provide this conflict. The Yang believe that constant individual combat in the Battledome combined with the peaceful equality of their communalism will provide balance and allow them to better achieve the goal of total Funk Shui.

While the Yang believe they are in perfect balance, most other Funkeys think the Yang are just plain unpredictable. One minute they are hot tempered, rude and aggressive, and the next minute, they are happy, polite and peaceful. You just never know what reaction you will get when you're dealing with a Yang!


Raj

The Raj live in the deepest, darkest part of the Nosretep Tam jungle. Like all the tribes of the Hidden Realm, the Raj are strong fighters and fierce competitors. But the true love of all Raj is their hair. They sport perfectly coiffed, beautiful manes of lush hair. This obsession with their hair is built into the fabric of their society. Their system of government is a Hair-ocracy; the Raj with the best hair rules. And any violations of grooming law is considered Hairesy and severely punished. The outgoing king of the Raj, Naj Raj, lost his reign when he decided to violate the latest trends and try to single handedly bring back the Caesar cut. Justice was swift. He was dispatched abroad to ponder is hairpocracy. The current king, Krisrajson Raj, rose to power with an unwavering adherence to a single principle - gell is your friend. All Raj are now required to study the latest hair fashion magazines like Rajsmo, Rogue, Raxim and RQ. King Wilrajson believes that beautiful hair starts with a beautiful mind.

The Raj are always trying to enforce their hair styles on the other Funkeys. The operate salons in 14 provinces including the Republic of Rajjanistan. Their mission, to make the world smooth and silky, like them.

Before a Raj leaves the Nosretep Tam jungle, each is marked with the spiritual paw print of their tribe so that no matter how far they travel, they will never forget where it was they came from, and what their tribe stands for. Each toe of the spiritual paw represents one of the core attributes of the hair care: Clean, Cut, Coif and Control. "The rules of hair care are simple and finite, any Rajsmo Raj can tell you that."


Singe

The Singe love hot and spicy food. The hotter and spicier the better, and there is no spicier food in Terrapinia then the Molten Insanity Pepper. The insanity pepper is so hot that it can light paper plates on fire. It's so spicy that even waving one of these peppers in the general direction of any other food will make that food so unbearably hot that it will be inedible for most Funkeys!

While most Funkeys avoid the molten insanity pepper like a bad sunburn, a full plate of raw insanity peppers is a Singe favorite meal! The Singe eat these peppers for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and would even sprinkle them on ice cream for desert if they could just figure out how to keep the ice cream from instantly melting.

In fact, the Singe eat so many insanity peppers, that flames erupt from their mouth and eyes. They eat these peppers so often, that the flames have left permanent red scorch marks on their faces giving the Singe their frightful appearance!

This diet of insanity peppers is also the key to the Singe strength in the Battledome. The Singe prepare for each fight by eating especially large plates of insanity peppers. This volatile meal ignites the fire in their eyes and makes the Singe hot-tempered and aggressive. The Singe also know that there is no way they will get a glass of water until the fight is over giving them extra incentive to beat their opponents as quickly as possible.

If you see a Singe grubbing on a plate of insanity peppers, you better watch out, because a flaming lunatic is coming your way!


Necter

While the Sprout may get all the credit for being the botanists of Terrapinia, it's the Nectar, and their ability to pollinate that truly allows the Sprouts thumbs to be the deepest shade of green. Friends since the beginning of recorded time, the Nectar and the Sprout have worked together to design and create some of the greatest gardening wonders throughout Terrapinia.

Despite the romantic picture that some may have of carefree Nectar flirting from flower to flower, true pollination is hard work. Look at their little wings and chunky bodies. It's a miracle they fly at all let alone all day every day. At Honey Hive Towers, their daily work schedule starts when the sun comes up and ends when the sun goes down, and consists of B-reports, Wax Faxes, and Honey Do's to be completed and filed each day, not to mention the never ending cover letters on their TBS (To Be Stung) reports. In fact, the Nectar call their typical work day "the invisible sun" because they never see it. Each day, the Nectar work their antennas off to make Terrapinia a more beautiful place, and to gain the attention and admiration of the beloved Nectar queen, Queen Roxy.

Despite their dedication, the Nectar believe that they never get the proper credit for their stinger breaking work. Every Funkey knows the Sprout, and how their gardening talents have beautified life for all Funkeys, but few Funkeys truly realize that none of this would be possible without the Nectar. This lack of credit, and the never ending paperwork that drives the pollination process, can make the Nectar very irritable indeed!

To deal with the frustrations of a work life of high stress and little reward, small groups of disillusioned Nectar have started to band together to form underground dueling clubs, which have come to be known as Pain Clubs. These Pain Clubs are a place where Nectar drones can fight with their brothers and sisters to release their pent up aggressions and rebel against the repetition of daily work life. A bruised wing or broken antenna is a common sight at Honey Hive Towers; but as long as workers show-up every day, productive and happy, Queen Roxy supports the number one rule of Pain Club: You don't talk about Pain Club. Attempts by The Police to infiltrate these clubs, undercover jobs known as sting operations, have yet to synch up.


Maul

One of Dr. Tinker's more touching creations, the Maul were created as friends for young Funkeys to help them deal with their fears. Young Funkeys would find their courage each night by squeezing and cuddling their Maul, believing that if anything jumped out from under their bed, the Maul would be there to protect them.

After years of being perceived by other Funkeys as infantile, and being greeted with comments like, "awwwwww... how sweet" and "aren't you just the cutest!" the Maul have come to develop what is commonly referred to as "Little Bear Syndrome". This condition is only enhanced by the emotional imbalance caused by a head full of stuffing and results in the Maul constantly trying to compensate for their perceived softness by proving how tough they are! Torn seams and missing buttons can be a result of an over abundance of hugs, annoying rodents who feed on their stuffing called Maul Rats, as well as frequent maul brawls. As a result, the Maul have learned to repair themselves and are master tailors.

This desire to prove their "bearhood" has led many a Maul to start attending the Nectar's underground Pain Clubs. While the Nectar fight to work out the frustrations of a hard day, the Maul fight to prove that they aren't soft! This fighting has developed into a fierce rivalry between the Maul and Nectar to determine who is truly the King of Pain Club. Some believe this can only be settled in the great Oni Dojo.

Despite this need to prove themselves, the Maul are truly softies at heart. Making sure the youth of Terrapinia are safe, courageous, and have someone to squeeze all of their fears away is their number one priority, and they love what they do... awww how sweet!

PARADOX GREEN

Ace

The most industrial of all Funkeys, the Ace live a down and dirty, one might say base, lifestyle; bathing in oil, staging metal eating contests, and building things only to blow them up. Hard working, and relentless, the Ace are known to say things like, "Why use 1 rivet when 100 would do?" With razor sharp teeth and a sailor's vocabulary, the Ace have never faced a problem they couldn't build over. They believe that nature's creations can provide unlimited potential for the future, but only if they are bent to their will, and forged into their vision.

When called upon to produce all the weapons in the Great Funkey Wars of the third Funkazoic Era, it was the Ace and their relentless effort led by their greatest manufacturer, Rivet Rose, that gave King Funkankhamun the weapons he needed to turn the tide of war and defeated the hordes of the evil King Kanh. During the war effort, the Ace live by one creed, "We can build longer, harder, and stronger then any other Funkey."

After the war, the countryside was scarred by fighting and when the long rebuilding process begun, it was once again the Ace that came to the aid of all Funkeys. With their great forges and massive factories, the Ace rebuilt Terrapinia and ushered in the Funkey Industrial Revolution. Massive Ace structures like the Earfull Tower, One Cool Dam and the Barbeque Shack on the corner of 5th and Main, became symbols of hope and progress. The Ace have always had one goal on their mind, "If you build it, than it's built."

The Ace have a symbol for their ruthless efficiency - a shiny band of metal. Perfect, no beginning, no end. The legend is that this wheel is the rolling pursuit of progress. Like any wheel, once on it, you can't slow down, you can't let go and you can't hold on, you can't go back and you can't stand still. The message: nowhere to go but up.

Progress sometimes comes at a cost though, and the Ace's single minded manufacturing mission has had some unfortunate and permanent effects on the landscape of Terrapinia. But as their smoke stacks keep pumping soot into the air, the Ace continue to remind other Funkeys that "progress takes work, and work is dirty before it is clean." The Future is now and the Ace are not looking back!

Mulch

With Master Lox's henchman polluting the lands with their evil ways, the youthful Mulch have been driven to tears about the state of their land and declared themselves the "Green" saviors of Terrapinia. They have dedicated themselves to minimizing the impact of Funkeys on Terrapinia, by re-using and recycling everything. They are so fanatical about minimizing their impact on Terrapinia, that when they travel, they make sure to step only where other Funkeys have stepped before, as a way to even minimize their footprints!

Young, confident and cool, the Mulch have made "Green" the buzz word of this generation. While good intentioned, the Mulch have been known to be a bit snobby, and have little regard to those that don't agree with them. Mulch believe most Funkeys are ignorant to reusable fuels and can often be found giving long winded lectures about 2reduce, reuse, recycle" to eye rolling listeners. With a keen understanding of bio-degradables, recycling, and composite earth; the Mulch live by the slogan, "if it powered us once, it can power us again."

The most optimistic and motivated for the future, the Mulch love to use the spotlight to spread the word of conservation. They started I'm Musty International to help clean smelly closets. Created a safe haven for pompous environmental activists called the Vain Forrest and zealously protect its right to exist. And they have even begun to produce movies in an effort to spread their message. The most famous Mulch movie, "The Inconvenient Tooth", showed the Funkey community the impact that wasted tooth paste could have on the environment, and has successfully convinced some Funkeys to recycle their toothpaste again and again...and again. While this does wonders for the environment, it has a less then pleasurable effect on the breath!

The popularity of this movie and excitement around the "Green" symbol have made companies all over Terrapinia seek endorsements from the Mulch, as a way to connect with the youth, or more specifically, their coins. Don't be mistaken though, coins don't sway the Mulch. Only products that achieve a rating of "Absolute Bogglicious" in the Boggle Sweet Excretion test can have the honor of being branded with the coveted Mulch symbol.

Where the Boggle's motivation towards recycling revolves around dietary fiber, the Mulch believe conservation is a part of their high morale fiber, and that it is everyone's responsibility to be Green. Despite their differing motivations though, the Mulch and Boggle's similar life purpose of cleaning up Terrapinia has made them the greatest of friends. They can often be seen playing a game of Boggledunk, where the objective is to be the first to slam enough garbage into a Boggle's hungry mouth to make them burp!

Rastro

The Rastro consider themselves the wave of the future. They believe that all of the problems of the future will be solved through the emerging technologies that are just on the horizon, and that the Rastro will be the ones to reach that horizon first! Like the Xener, The Rastro have an innate understanding of technology. But while the Xener set the spotlight squarely on speed, the Rastro solely scrutinize, speculate and survey size. Adhering to the theory that smaller is better they are doggedly dedicate to the motto "shrimp it". The Rastro and the Xener have a healthy competitive relationship. Driven to prove that they are the most advanced of all Funkey, this rivalry has pushed both to reach higher achievements and greater breakthroughs.

The Rastro have now set their three eyes on the final frontier...space. The Rastro view the Xener's attempts at manned space flights nothing more than running on a treadmill in space. No matter how fast that crazy thing goes, you don't get anywhere. They even call the Xener space program JANE (Just Another Nitwit Exercise). The Rastro themselves, have instead perfected miniature robotic space exploration. Their Artificial Intelligence Robotic Funkey, or ARF, is more efficient and dependable form of stellar travel. The Rastro's have developed what they believe to be the most advanced source of power ever conceived. The Recumbent Ultrasonic Transmorphing Retro Oscillator (RUTRO) that can propel the ARF at the speed of light.

The Xener have publicly stated that they want to be the first to build a portal on one of the moons. But to build a portal requires lots of equipment and huge rockets to get them to the moon. So while it might be true that giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon; the moon is old hat. The Rastro have their 3 eye sites set on deep, deep space. And that can only be reached by going micro - shrimp it!

Both The Xener and The Rastro have inspired many a Funkey to look to the stars and dream the impossible. Mayor Sayso's introduced the "No Funkey Left Behind...on Terrapinia" Act makes all young Funkeys learn everything about the twelve planets in Terrapinia's solar system before they graduate. The Sprocket, once happy to fix things on land, have started to think Spacely. The Vroom have put the jets on to go faster. And many other tribes have envisioned a rosier future where the cogs of life's machine drive us to the unknown universe.

While their work has been dedicated to the goals of space exploration, the amazing technologies that they have created have also been utilized in creating wondrous advances back here in Terrapinia. And while Rastro would like to be known for their loftier cosmic goals, they are in fact most famous for an amazing device that most Funkeys carry with them every day, the Third Eye Phone. A think tank of the Boggle and Rastro produced the Third Eye Phone and then partnered with a company owned by the Ptep called PT&P to put an Eye Phone in the hands of every Funkey. The Third Eye Phone, allows a Funkey to track the World Wide Web anywhere in Terrapinia, and allows Funkeys to contact each other faster than a Rastro can blink their third eye. Unfortunately, this technology is so fast and efficient; Funkeys all over Terrapinia are spending less and less time with each other because their Rastro Tech products. Some Funkeys believe that the Third Eye Phone provides them with better companionship, and have taken to communicating with each other only through their phone rather then face to face!

Tadd

The Tadd have intertwined their lives with the fresh world. Practitioners of nature's magic, the Tadd, like the Lotus, derive their strength from the raw Terra. Some Funkeys say the Tadd lost their faith in science and progress. But it's more a belief that any problem can be dealt with using the simple tools of nature, and the little bits of magic everything contains, rather than being dependent on technological advances. Creating powerful organic foods and Funkeopathic medicines, the Tadd can turn any plant, rock, or animal into a healthy treat that will make the biggest city dwelling Funkey into a bona fide tree hugger! The Tadd aren't stuck in the stone age, they're embracing the new age.

Always born as twins, the Tadd are fiercely connected to their sibling, but once each year, in accordance with Tadd tradition, the Tadd must journey out on their own, away from their twin. This journey is undertaken in order to strengthen their bond with the Great Mother Terrapin. It is written in the scrolls that "some Tadd will climb, some will fall, and some will rise to get to the heart of Terrapinia." Each Tadd must travel across the land and endure many a hardship in order to find to the most perfect place in all of Terrapinia.

You would think that the most perfect place in all of Terrapinia would be crowded with Tadd, but it means different things to different Tadd. One Tadd may believe that a hidden grove deep in a forest of piney woods is the perfect place, while another may believe a secluded cove on the shores of Lake Kai to be more perfect, and another still may believe a shimmering crystal cave deep within the Frigid Murk to be perfection. In this, the pursuit for the most perfect place in Terrapinia is really a journey for a Tadd to find the most perfect place for themselves as an individual, or as the Tadd saying goes: "No matter where you go, there you are."

Despite the differences of location, there is a singular mission that each Tadd must perform when they find their perfect place, their perfect self, and they are truly at peace. Each Tadd must share their story with the land. They carve an urn from drift wood or a fallen tree. Place their story in it and burry it. Like sailors putting a message in a bottle, The Tadd give their greatest gift back to Terrapinia. In the shadow of the moon, the spiral light of the stars rising first and shining best, while the crickets and cicadas sing, The Tadd tell their story. And the earth learns.

The Tadd then reunite with their twin. Both having faced mysteries dark and vast, and are inspired by light, song and color. They are confident in the knowledge that they have helped shape the natural beauty of Terrapinia. But back in Paradox Green, the wings of fortune beat like rain. They are back in Paradox Green for good or ill again, for good or ill again.